is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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