im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
