it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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