Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
