It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
