She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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