She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Randomize
