Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
