quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
