dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
