Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I supernannyed him into submission
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
