There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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