We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
