My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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