For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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