he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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