Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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