I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You ruined the universe
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
