are you still at the devil's house?
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
