No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
