Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
