She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
