lets start a swedish sibling band together
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
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