Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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