So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Randomize
