whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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