I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
do herpes really smell.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
