to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's rum buckets o'clock
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
