just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
