im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
