So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
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