Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
