it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Randomize
