please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
