never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
