drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
My vagina just clenched in fear
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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