you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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