Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
