We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize