were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
