paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
