so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
