K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
