My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
