yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
