We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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