Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
