oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
