Plan B is the new Plan A
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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