i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
