dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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