i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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