yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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