love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Randomize
