maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
