Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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