Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
