just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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