I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
