What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
