Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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